POETRY : One last mistake by Kanika Sharma

I left my house for his mansion, one last time, with a determination to end the biggest and only mistake of my life; my marriage.  We were two fantastic individuals, beautiful creatures who could not be so great and beautiful together. Both of us had strong individualities and passions, with no interruption from anyone, we both wanted to be always free. It was a shame we could not build together a tree. Though it was ironic that when it finally dawned that a divorce only can get me freed, I realised that I was carrying his seed. This child is ours, I reminded myself, mine too. For it will have both our good values. This child will be reminiscent of good old times. ‘After all, he was not a terrible person’ my conscience chimes. With a mind filled with contradictory thoughts and a heart heavy with emotions, I entered his big white mansion. I am going to bury down the ashes of these burdened relationship one final time, of course, this time there would be no phoenix rising from the ashes. It only happens in legends. I remember the mundane things I shouldn’t, why should I now bother how I loved your egg fry I remember these humble things; I remember till I cry While in reverie my car takes a sharp turn, there on the corner his white mansion, the golden afternoon sunlight giving it tinges of auburn. With a mind filled with contradictory thoughts and a heart heavy with emotions, I entered his big white mansion There he stood in the verandah, handsome as always, that built so strong and tall. What can I say his handsome features have always made me for him, fall? He moved towards me and engulfed me in a warm hug for old time sakes. I would not lie, his warmth, and those seductive hands, something in me was awake. I kissed those damn, sensuous as hell lips and did not think twice about the aftermath. It seemed even he was pleased with our now intermingling breaths. Aware of my growing body now, he placed a tender hand on my baby bump. With astonishment in his eyes, he touched with his free hand my breast all so ripe and plump. His booming voice echoes in my ears, “mine”. He picks me up and moves us to the bedroom in one enthralling stride. I see this flame of desire threatens to consume both of us. We proceed to our marital bed, where we first made love. There is a surge in us like the old time, a passion, a rush like the first. And here I am succumbing once again to this tryst. The ashes I came to bury, ashes of this burdened relationship but I did not know a phoenix that would rose out of this, for I thought it existed only in legends. We let those ashes of past turn into sparks of new romance and those sparks into this passionate phoenix that took over us like a vortex , devoid of any logic just pure passion. Our naked bodies lay together, moments later. Ah! decisions of passion and haste. What can I say, I came to end a mistake, and here I made one more mistake? About the poet: Kanika Sharma is an alumni of Shri Ram College of Commerce and an HR professional. Her favourite themes are emotions and the human psyche. She is also a published author in two anthologies with notion press.