FEATURED WRITER : Soujanya Indugu's 'I want to be a child again'

 

I want to be a child again. 

I am a 30-something housewife currently raising a 7-year-old girl. Kids this age ask many questions regarding their parents' childhood with a lot of curiosity. So you unintentionally take a trip down memory lane and shuffle through nostalgic memories. As my kid is at an age where we are creating foundational memories... my child-like mind in an adult body wants to be a child again.

I believe it's essential to live in the present and devour each moment of it. Life is unpredictable, yet I am here with this song in my heart.  

I want to be a child again. 

With not a care about what is happening in the world outside my home.

Sleeping like a baby. 

I want to be a child again. 

Play endless indoor games and cards with my family.

Play Antakshari with my family and sing loud songs without a care in the world when the power is out. 

I want to be a child again. 

Not responsible for anybody but yourself .

You are with yourself each second. 

I want to be a child again. 

Cherish a train journey like a vacation.

Endlessly devouring lush green farms.

Counting trees and gazing through the window. 

I want to be a child again. 

Believing movies and actors are real.

Endless dreaming about yourself in that world with countless pretend situations. 

I want to be a child again. 

Longing for the summer beach day,

Diwali and Pongal each year, your favorite time with your family 

I want to be a child again. 

Counting days to your birthday and feeling special and cherishing every little thing the family does for you.

Simple celebrations like a new dress and giving friends a 5 Rupee Five star or Dairy Milk. 

I want to a child again. 

Oblivious to all the not-so-good things happening around you but still not being affected by it. 

I want to be a child again.

Go to school, study, learn and play and feel the need to become as fast as possible so that we can do grown-up things without knowing what's in store. 

Bite my mom's ear with every single silly thing which is happening in school 

Becoming my own version of 'adult' as younger siblings followed in my footstep. 

I want to be a child again. 

To find uncountable ways to entertain yourself with limited toys, limited tv time and limited awareness. 

I want to be a child again. 

To be in a dream world with endless dreams and possibilities of being a singer, doctor, and so much more, not knowing the reality of the paths you want to choose. 

I want to be a child again. 

Sing, dance, paint, write, and talk without being good at many of them.

I want to be a child again. 

Being super joyful and happy at the sound of the new school year with new books and the thrill of coming a step closer to dreamy adulthood 

I want to be a child again. 

Sneaking chocolates on each small shopping trip and waiting for dad to bring non-veg appetizers.

Devouring milk chocolate powders,eating slate pencils and raw rice just killing the taste of it. 

I want to be a child again. 

To be more innocent, less privileged and less mature than the kids of today. 

I want to be a child again. 

To apologize to my mom for a few of my actions and words of a silly child Casually uttered yet piercing to a mother. 

I want to be a child again 

To feel all those unexplained feelings towards the opposite sex.

So wistful yet so heartfelt and innocent 

To devour and embrace each possibility and moment just like a child without overthinking anxiety and insecurity. 

I want to be a child again. 

Doing silly little things for attention. 

Feeling happy when sick because you are treated special. 

I want to be a child again. 

To become a trivia enthusiast, curious about history and culture.

To have the determination of an ant to have learnt Telugu only using newspapers. 

I want to be a child again. 

To revisit our adaptability to our family structure as it is with authenticity, naive misgivings and endless hope. 

Now my daughter is also making memories as she grows in this beautiful yet uncertain world.

And all I wish and hope for is for her to have a wonderful childhood. So I strive to make sure that she has all needs to be a child.

Author Bio: 

Soujanya is a nonfiction writing enthusiast who likes to write raw authentic stories about life ,self love ,music and movies, and likes to document unexplored and less talked about feelings.

It is a long-standing passion for her to write and connect. On the personal front, Soujanya  is a management professional and mother to an 8-year-old girl and lives in Ohio, US.

 Soujanya wrote this piece as her final assignment for a six-week Creative Writing Workshop.